In any relationship, there will be conflict. The trick isn't to avoid it; it's learning to deal with those disagreements in a healthy, respectful way. It's a matter of fighting fair. Kelly Olson of The Village, says couples shouldn't be afraid to talk about issues. Each person in a relationship should be available to hear the concerns of his or her partner, and help their partner feel validated for those concerns. We also need to be aware of our own limits and cues. When is NOT the right time to have a discussion? Maybe you're not a morning person, or after work is a stressful time for you [...]

Couples today may experience less satisfaction in their marriage as compared to their parents, research shows. One report indicated a 42 percent dip in satisfaction! One factor may be related to having kids later in life, and feeling more social pressure to provide the best of everything. However, some research shows that marital satisfaction declines for all couples, including childless couples. The takeaway: Marriage is work for everyone. Kelly Olson, with The Village Family Service Center, created this list of 14 things that can help couples communicate better, cherish each other more, and [...]

Violence at political rallies, videos of individuals shouting racist hatred, or images of hate scrolled on a building have brought the topic of diversity to the forefront of the nation’s conscious. Diversity has become a key societal discussion, and an increasingly important topic in the workplace. Workplace Diversity According to statistics referenced by the Society of Human Resource Management, 10 days following the 2016 presidential election, there were 867 incidents of hate in this county, 18% of which happened in the workplace. It is time to embrace the idea and importance of diversity in [...]

As our communities and workplaces continue to evolve and become more diverse, we need to pay attention to what professional practices may need to change along the way. We need to examine our unconscious bias. What Is Unconscious Bias? Unconscious bias includes the social stereotypes about certain groups of people that we form outside our own conscious awareness. Another definition: Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared to another. “As leaders, when we are influenced by a bias we don’t ever know we have, we can make the wrong decisions. Those decisions could [...]

Unconscious Bias “Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, ‘We’ve always done it this way.’ I try to fight that. That’s why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise.” – Rear Admiral Grace Hopper Hopper’s words are true for how we have recruited, screened, interviewed, and onboarded employees for decades. It’s time for change, but it does not have to be scary. When looking at an employee lifecycle, we need to look through an unbiased lens. So how do we get there? If you’ve completed the Implicit Bias Test, you’ve become aware of your unconscious bias and you’re willing to [...]

Love with limits. These “limits” are the healthy boundaries we all must set in relationships with those close to us. You can love a friend, with limits. You can love a child, with limits. You can love your partner, with limits. Limits protect us and the people around us, and they help others better understand us and respond to our needs. Boundaries are parameters, lines we draw with people. They are determined by what we deem as OK and not OK, ethical and unethical, moral and immoral. We have varying distances depending on how well we know someone. You may have more or stricter boundaries with [...]

Joshua Grondahl has had many losses in his life. Even at a young age he suffered from depression. He attempted suicide in sixth grade. The years 2015 to 2017 came many hardships. He lost his dad. His house burned down. He divorced. He felt the ultimate low and knew he had to do something before going down another dangerous path. Joshua participated in The Village’s Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), a program in which clients receive education and support, develop coping skills, and problem-solve life’s ongoing stress and challenges in a group setting. Joshua says The Village taught him that [...]

In 2018, Thad Stafford was arrested for driving while intoxicated in his hometown, the city where he’d served on the police force for more than two decades. He entered treatment as a means to save his career, to ensure he could continue to provide for his wife and four kids. But shortly into his stay at an inpatient center, he realized there was more to his story. The stress and trauma of his job as a sergeant who investigated child abuse cases had created deep wounds that he had buried. The drinking was a symptom of greater issues. “Over 20 years, crumb by crumb, it starts to pile up. I wasn [...]

The body has an amazing ability to heal itself from trauma. This fairly new type of therapy uses a client's visual field to uncover unprocessed trauma, negative emotions, and pain. Identifying and utilizing “brainspots” can allow us to access deeper emotions and traumatic memories that we maybe didn’t even know we were hiding from ourselves. Digging those experiences out of our body’s memory can help us face them head on and process them the right way. To put it more simply, your brain can tell you how you’re feeling based on where you look. What is Brainspotting? Brainspotting, which was [...]

When something bad happens to us, the whole body remembers it. Negative thoughts can get stuck in places where talk therapy just can’t reach. Kids might not be able to express traumatic or disturbing memories – “icky” or “mixed up” thoughts and feelings, as Grand Forks Village therapist Janet Amundson describes them. That’s one reason Janet loves a type of therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR. EMDR is an evidence-based tool that helps clients replace negative beliefs with positive ones by alternately stimulating the two sides of the brain through sight, sound [...]